The Naomi "Charm"

So, many people have said that I have this "charm." They say I get what I want, when I want it. They say that I just have too much knowledge for my own good. I know too much information and I never apply it correctly.

The truth is, this "charm" is running low...very low. What happens to me, mentally, when I no longer have this "charm?" I am currently lost. I can be sitting in a room with you having full on conversation yet my mind is absent. I feel like I am two people in one body. To be completely honest I am scared to death. Is this normal? Is this something everyone goes through? Is this a phase? What is going on?!?

I am a christian and I know that God is right there with me all the time. But I just feel like he is so hard to reach right now. I feel as if I am stretching out my arms wider than the universe and I still can't reach him. I know that he knows that I am reaching for him and that I just want to be in that place with him, yet I feel as if he does not.

Everything thing that I do all day everyday is the same routine yet it feels as if I am not doing it. That my body is preforming these daily tasks but my mind is lost somewhere out there. I do not even know where it is. I have no thoughts, it feels as if I am in a void within my own mind. As I sit here and type this is one of my few moments where it feels like I am one person again. But this leaves me completely lost and confused.

Me as Naomi still has a will power to do well with everything that I do and to do it to the best of my ability. But this thing makes me want to not do it. Never in my life would I give up music or get sick of it. Yet now a part of me is just completely done with it. This thing just wants to sit on it's bum and do nothing all day, think nothing all day, to be nothing and I have no control(at least that is how it feels).

Prayer. Just pray, because I do not know.

" How nice it must be to have the Naomi "charm" right? Well how bout when you think you make it to the end of the bridge and it's all falling apart around you and when you notice it might be too late?"

A Tree

I am a tree
with branches long and wide
Some of my branches are healthy
blooming with fruits and flowers
Some of my branches are dead
holding the things of my past
My body is a trunk
every year I have gained a new ring of maturity
My feet are my roots
my foundation from my youth keeps me wise and strong
Like a tree I have learned to defy gravity
my spirit rushes up my body to my father
it does not sink into the ground like waste
I have made friends that will be my fertilizer
pesticides may try but they have nothing on me
~thank you miss jones for sharing this picture of me that you see~

Love

I’m a normal kid living a silent life. No one knows my name.

Sixteen years of age born in 93’. My birth date is unknown.

I am a sophomore in high school and I maintain a 4.3GPA. No one knows who I am.

I am also in the academic top 20. No one knows I exist.

I am one of the best musicians in the county. No one knows my name.

I take advanced placement classes and fly through the class. No one knows my name.

I am in charge of 3/8 of the school. No one knows who I am.

The lunch lady knows my name. The administration knows me as a number.

My name means trustworthy in Hebrew. People stray from me because I am “socially awkward.”

My name is on the school television quite often. When people in my class see my name they stop and ask, “who is that?”

This is my second year living like this. Only my best friends know me.

High school wasn’t told to be like this. My only friends are band kids, if that.

I have made history in the band halls. I have people walking in my footsteps dying to be just like me. Why do I not have a name?

What is a name if no one knows who you are?

There was this one point in my life where these two wonderful young ladies(at different times) told me that I was loved. I honestly did not want to take them seriously. But they continued and as they did they told me I am not just loved by people but I am loved by God. At that moment I had realized that I am not just a number, I am not unknown, and that someone loves me.

I am Naomi Ann Miyazato.

I wasn’t put here to be a lost soul. I was made to make and alter history.

I am Naomi Ann Miyazato.

Someone does know my name. Someone that is greater than all others loves me.

I am Naomi Ann Miyazato.

God has a purpose and a plan for our lives. He loves us more than anyone else could and wants us to know that we aren’t just numbers or lost souls. We are his children and we are loved by a father that loves us more than anything else.

The fact that no one seems to know my name doesn’t cross my mind anymore. The fact that God knows my name, and that he chose my name special to whom he made me, is enough for me.

Everyone has a name for themselves even if it is such a common name such as Smith. And everyone is known for who they are and what they have done.

I just have one question…

Why do we have to worry about such things as having a name for ourselves? Why are people so put down that they have to question their own existence? Something needs to be done about this. Too many teenagers are going through high school wearing a mask so complex they can not take off. Love is a four letter word with one of the strongest definitions in the English language. Why do we overlook and over use this word? There needs to be more God in our schools. Maybe if we can lend out a hand and help someone take their mask off more people will realize what love really is.

“For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” –Jeremiah 29:11