A Rant

This whole band thing that I do. Sometimes I do not know why I even signed up for it. I just have those days where I think quitting would have been a better idea then pushing through. I love what I do so much that I hate it. Is it wrong do demand perfection from yourself? I feel as if I am pushing myself twenty times harder then the previous day because it just is not good enough. I have heard that I am one of the significantly better players in the band, but every time I make a mistake I feel like I am the worst. Is it bad to push myself that much?

What I really love is when I tell my friends where I plan on going to college and they reply with "well, you know___ did not even make it into ____" it just boosts my self esteem by twenty, not. I feel as if I am ready for this audition though i know that my playing abilities are no where near where they should be to even be considered. Is there a way to make everyone understand that I understand how hard these auditions are, and I know the level of competition. But I am willing to spend every chance I get to prepare for that moment when it is just me and I show them everything that I have worked for and why they should accept me.

If you did not know already I plan on going to West Virgina University to get a performance masters on trumpet and minor in music composition. I have spent a great amount of time researching this out of state university and I highly understand the prices of physical money I will need to pay. But why do people still find the need to say, "do you have any idea how much out of state costs?" my response is, "YES! yes I do!" but apparently that statement is not clear enough. This is a very random rant, not even a rant. This blog is completely pointless though. Goodnight world.